Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Why 35?

It's official...had the birthday over the weekend.

35 in gay years is equivalent to 50 in hetero years.

Looking at where I am in life at 35, there are many things that get me down. You know, dead-end job. Paycheck-to-paycheck bank account. Credit card debt. Beat up 1996 Saturn. I could go on and on, but I won't.

The positives are varied. I'm happy to have found someone special to spend my life with. I happy with the unique experiences I have had being a VIP Tour Guide. I'm happy with the fact that I own my home. I'm generally happy.

But, at 35, I feel like the "general happiness" might not be enough.

Most frightening for me, is that half of my life has eclipsed and I still haven't been able to get out an "see the world".

While I have fun seeing the facsimile "world" that Orlando offers via it's theme parks, I still have a tremendous yearning to get out and see the real deal.

For Christmas, I had asked for enough cash to go to Vegas. Instead, I got some clothes. Fine.

I'm just worried that I'll complete my time on Earth and never really get to see and do all of the things I had wished.

Why wasn't I a travel magazine photographer?