Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Why am I sad?

Discounting the Holiday blues...
the extra ten holiday pounds...
the lackluster haul on Christmas day...
the rejection of the new job...

Why am I sad?
Here's the biggest blow to me this Holiday season:

Fire damages 'Big Bamboo'
Now closed, it was Disney cast hangout

Susan Jacobson
Sentinel Staff Writer
December 28, 2005

KISSIMMEE -- The future of the Big Bamboo Lounge, a quirky bar on the West U.S. Highway 192 tourist strip that closed late last year, is even more up in the air after a fire nearly destroyed the building last week.

Osceola County fire officials are calling the bar a "total loss," though the walls didn't collapse.

One of the owners, Nancy Duggan, said Tuesday that although she would still like to reopen the "Boo," she doesn't know what's going to happen. Duggan said she hadn't seen the lounge or a Fire Department report about the damage, although she plans to visit the bar this week.

"I'm just so sad about it," said Duggan, the daughter of Bruce Muir, who bought the property in 1977. "It's just a heartbreaking thing. I wanted to see it stay open all along."

Muir, who lived in Kissimmee's Orange Gardens, died in February 1999.

Housed in what was once a doctor's house, the Big Bamboo became a hangout for Walt Disney World employees and curious tourists.

It was decorated with Disney employee name tags, business cards, newspaper clippings and foreign money and featured swing and jazz music and bartenders wearing Hawaiian shirts.

Only cash was accepted, and there was no air conditioning. Out front sat a vintage military ambulance and a watchtower.

Disney animators sometimes entertained other patrons by drawing Mickey Mouse and other characters on cocktail napkins.

"It was unique," Duggan said. "It was almost like a club where people met their friends."

Muir's widow owns half the bar, and Duggan and her sister also have shares, according to a probate settlement agreement. The Sentinel was unable to reach Glenda Muir, who has a Vero Beach address, and Duggan said she does not respond to messages or correspondence from the sisters. That leaves the property in apparent legal limbo.

The Osceola County Fire Department received a 911 call about 5 p.m. Dec. 18 saying flames and smoke were coming from the Big Bamboo Lounge, said Larry Krause, a county spokesman.A fire report says homeless people trying to keep warm may have started the fire. Clothing was found inside, indicating people were living in the vacant building at 4849 W. U.S. 192, Krause said. Five county fire engines and one each from Orange County and Kissimmee helped battle the flames, he said.

The fire was under control in 15 minutes, according to the report. Damage was particularly severe in the rear of the building, where flames came through the roof, the report states.

It's unclear whether the building -- which also was damaged during the 2004 hurricanes -- can survive the most recent assault.

Some of my favorite nights were spent pounding back 'Big Bamboo' drinks (made with rum, rum, rum, and stuff). I learned big secrets about dear friends and family members. I had wonderfully drunken therapy sessions.

All of it took place in 'the Boo'.

Of course, if I were to win the lottery, I would try to recreate it...right down to the dusty old Christmas Tree in the corner with the Billy Graham biography beneath it.

When cherished places like this vanish, I know that I'm not the only one to wonder...


Thursday, December 15, 2005

Why Will?

Okay...I've got to throw this out there. It's been nagging at me for oh...the last ten years or so. It's not a personal attack on 'him'. They are MY FEELINGS and I'm never going to apologize for them.

I fell in love with Will.

I honestly can't remember how I even met him. What I can remember is how I wasn't able to control him. I remember how hilarious he was. I remember how incredibly sexy and smooth his almond skin was to touch. I remember how amazingly soft those lips were to kiss. I remember the infectuous laugh. The general insanity. I remember the heartache.

The heartache.

Crying over him. Loving him and being semi-loved in return.

I remember him wanting me to 'do him' in the days where I had never done anyone and vowed not to ever do so until I was in a commited relationship. He could have been "the one" easily. Love like I felt for him was amazing. I still feel warm when I think of him.

I also curse him. He's back in my life. He's a quasi-friend again. I feel like a semi-friend and semi-loved all over again.

He did a fine job all of those years ago of making me feel like I could be 'the one' for him. The one to make him settle down. The one he would love to grow old with, but on the flip side he was still fucking around with everyone behind my back. But, he made me feel this way with his general smooth-talking and soft-lip kissing manipulation.

He describes in great detail of his conquests with 'Lifeguard' and 'Randy' and how they both maipulated his little heart. He remembers every detail. I was around in those days. What hurts most is that I was a 'Sidebar' to him. I merely occupied his time and I don't think I made as big of an impact on him as he did on me.

I cherished him. I floundered around trying to be perfect for him.

I lost.

He claims that he doesn't remember much of his time with me. That he was extremely messed up on drugs and everything else. A convenient memory loss? Perhaps.

All I know is I was there through many of the things he describes with a laser-sharp accuracy. He describes friends at the gay Denny's. Chances are, I was one of those friends...sitting there at the table thinking that I was more than just a friend. Watching him work his magical intoxication on these guys right in front of my oblivious face.

I was a fool to ever fall for him.

How can I ever get over him? Hearing his voice today makes me melt. The laugh. The raspiness. The sexiness. The innuendo that effortlessly slides off of his tongue.

My heart still skips a beat.

Why Will?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Why am I hanging onto these thoughts?

Today is the day, I'm going to dump some shit 'out there', just to clear my head. Some of it might make complete sense. Some of it is just for me.

Okay? Here we go!
  • The RENT-adulation has finally worn off, well that is until February when the DVD gets released!
  • Funny how you can talk to someone and they act like they are more than willing to hang out with you, but when you finally see them in a local bar they do not approach. Keeping their distance makes me doubt the sincerity.
  • Seeing another older (and and respected) ex-coworker out the other night really provided me with a wide mix of emotions. I've never felt closer to him. For him to build me up as "great at my job" did so much for my delicate ego. He's a gem.
  • Dear friends are not always so dear. Sometimes they promise to devote time with you, and then they neglect you. Leaving you to visit a very crowded Magic Kingdom all by yourself. Seeing all of the happy families together during the holiday season made me feel very lonely.
  • Sleeping all day on Sunday with my dog made me feel un-lonely. He makes a good pillow.
  • I hate cold weather.
  • I still haven't watched any of the Lord of the Rings films, but I did catch about 15 minutes of one of them yesterday. I thought it was unnecessarily violent.
  • MADtv has been crowned my 'King of Comedy'. What the hell has happened to Saturday Night Live?

It continuously blows.

  • Why haven't I had a Whataburger, yet?
  • I'm nervous about my 30 minute meeting with the Director/VP of the my potential new employer tomorrow. I'll have my fingers crossed.
  • Is it wrong that I don't always answer my phone?
  • I found an amazing remix of 'One Song Glory' by some guy named Ryan Link. The Buffalo Bill remix is wonderful!
  • I had much more fun than I anticpated last Friday night at my 1st Annual Secretary Christmas Party. I work with some great people. Too bad I dislike where I currently work. Too bad that I hope to be in a new role next 2nd Annual party for me.
  • The cold weather has made my hand injury/repair hurt like hell.
  • Still need to buy Dad a gift. What do you get a Dad for Christmas?
  • The Pam Anderson Friar's Club Roast was full of VERY harsh slams. Poor ancient and amazing Bea Arthur took a beating.

Why, that's all for today. Thanks. I feel moderately better.