Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Why Twister?

Put your left hand on a 'green circle' (wink, Lindy) and your right foot on blue.

If you've been following along in your Playbill, you'll know that I've been suffering a melodramatic second act recently in my personal life.

(For those of you that are sick of hearing about it, scroll down with that little wheelie-thingy on your mouse until you see the jumbo TWISTER below.)

I'll spare all of the tedious details...except for those that really need -- or will care -- to know WHY?

Hi! Cliff Notes here, giving you the most brief wrap-up to the Lifetime Movie that is tripaway2day:

  • Still not 100% certain, but it appears that evil twin Franky was plotting and lying to destroy my relationship with Beny. Why? I guess I will never know.
  • Beny...while he certainly was cheating...has been forgiven. (At least 63% forgiven)
  • Evil twin Franky has moved out and denied ever telling me any of the alleged "lies" when he confronted on speakerphone.
  • Beny's packed suitcase and belongings were still sitting on the bedroom floor this morning.
  • Saw the greenlitlady ( at the Savoy the night that led up to the final resolution of this drama. He looks completely suave. At least I think he did...I was blitzed.

Hopefully, things have been resolved. Hope can mean nothing, however, when faith has been lessened.

The REAL topic of discussion for this posting was to be...


I'm talkin' the ride at Universal Orlando.

(Or the ride that isn't really a ride, but challenges the theme park visitor to "Ride it Out".)

I know I fooled you all earlier in this entry with the talk of the Twister game we all played growing up (and some of us still play when schnockered on Long Islands)...that was nothing more than a gratuitous plug.

A little history here:

  • Twister "Ride it Out" is a spectacualr set-piece of special effects and pyrotechnics at Universal Orlando.
  • Set to open in the late 1990's to replace the stale Ghostbusters show, Twister "Ride it Out" had a delayed (for sensitivity) opening due to three devastating tornadoes that ripped through Central Florida a few weeks prior to the Grand Opening of this attraction.
  • The attraction also boasts the world's only five-story tall indoor whilwind of tornadic activity.
  • Oh...and there's a flying cow on strings, too.

The attraction (based on the movie) quickly became one of my favorite experiences in Orlando.

Can't put my finger on it.

Don't know why.

I am simply fascinated by it. Almost as fascinated as I was by the Dolphin Dicks at Sea World (that one was for you, Will).

My poor ex-friend Sonya used to get me completely high on weed at her house and I'd make us pile in the car on a quick marathon sprint (thank God for moving sidewalks) to Twister. I love being overloaded on weed and watching all of the destruction unfold in front of my eyes. It was quite literally a "whoa!" moment for me.

The food at the Monster's Cafe across the street was almost as amazing.

So, here we are...a new age of theme parks and attractions. Does this Twister still hold up for me? Would it be as fun sober? Would it be as fun after drinking a Pina Colada with 151?

I did some testing on my own last Saturday and I can still give a resounding continued endorsement for this attraction. It's one of the most unique attraction experiences around.

Bill Paxton's hilariously horrendous delivery in the preshow was a solid hoot once I was drunk.

So...I enjoyed the attraction so much again, that I decided to go online and purchase the movie on DVD. Why? Well, probably because as much as I like the attraction, it will be leaving us soon to that attraction heaven in the sky. I needed to keep Twister alive in my soul forever. (Note: I don't have any concrete info or rumors to back up the statement that the attraction is closing -- it was my gut instinct that kept telling me so.)

NBC bought Universal...they added Fear Factor Live! The bastardization of quality creative attractions has begun.

Hopefully, my dear sweet Twister can "Ride it Out" a few more years. Heck, even the devastating hurricanes didn't remove this attraction "due to sensitivty".

Why does "ER: Live!" sound like a contender?


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