Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Why am I in this state? Chapter 2

This time, I am talking about Florida.

After visiting New York City for a mere five days, I have concluded that Florida is no longer "for me".

I'm working a job that no longer has any excitement or appeal. Maybe it is that the company that I work for seems lackluster and zest-less these days.

Maybe I am finally growing up and the "magic" has disappeared or dispersed to beaurocracy and bullshit.

Orlando has become predictable beyond belief.

While I admire the vast array of "Downtown Redevelopment" now under construction in downtown Orlando, it's simply not enough to give me a sense of "belonging".

When I hear of the feable attempts at constructing a mass-transit rail system in the Central Florida area, I get disgusted.

When I think about our "Performing Arts" community, I can't figure out why things are so lackluster. There's so much great talent in this town, however, there simply isn't a budget for it, a community want for it, or dedicated state-of-the-art space for it. These poor talents are left to give their all for many tepid responses.

Wake up Orlando! Wake up Florida!

This state has no cohesion. Our Govenor...don't get me started. It's a state that is oversaturated and has no identity and Dubba's bother ain't helpin' matters.

New York City...while oversaturated...has an identity and it has made me feel alive in this lifeless town.

Yes, I do not have a sense of belonging living here anymore. My heart and soul that once belong to making "magic" now belongs to New York City.

Will I move there and feel more lonely than ever before? Will I get lost in the even more massive crowd? Will I be in financial ruin? Will I be able to afford to keep up with fashion? Will I be able to shell out $200 clams to see the latest and greatest on Broadway? Will I find "real" people in New York?

As usual, I never have the answers, but I make up for that with questions.

I'm feeling it. I'm hearing "New York City Boy" in my head 24/7.

So, what I'm discovering is that I'm craving a new chapter for my life. This tired old tale has become mundane and boring...as predictable as Orlando itself.

I have recently been evaluating the pros and cons of selling my condo and moving to NYC vs. renting out my condo and taking out a new mortgage in NYC.

I have been posting for a wide variety of jobs in NYC. Surely I'm not fully qualified to do any of them, but that's what happens when you devote your life to a theme park. But, as unpredictable as life is...as unpredictable as NYC is...I have hope that something interesting can come out of all of this.

I know that there's some middle-manager up there somewhere that will look at my resume and think, "That's a very unique set of qualifications."

Then NYC might give me a chance to show...

...why I am so unique.

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