Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Why java?

Who knew coffee at work could be so much fun? Well, many people obviously do. But, none of them seem to have nearly as much fun as I, once I down my caffine.

I arrive semi-promptly at 8:30am every day. For some odd reason, my PC takes a whopping 15 minutes to boot-up. (Could it be all of my "cookies"?)

During the 15 minutes of startup time, I head to the "kitchen" to pour my cup of coffee. Four packets of Sweet & Low and two French Vanilla CoffeMate creamers...because I'm sure you were just dying to know.

Another five minutes for me to wait for my coffee to cool a wee bit.

8:45am-8:50am...cruising through the politically correct nonsense in my Outlook Inbox and slurping away at my brew.

Then it happens...I'm all caught up on eamils and the coffee kicks in.

Smart-assiness begins to ooze from my every pore and I begin to harass my co-workers on whatever inane topic I can come up with. Today it was "I got it at Ross".

A new Ross opened up near my home in Hunter's Crick and in typical Ross fashion (and Kissimmee proximity fashion) the place has already been trashed by those folks who are moving up from Miami/down from NYC.

I'm not naming the demographic here, but...these people cause me to be fRICAN out at how my "Desperate Wives" surburbia is quickly being converted to a TeleNovella ala Univision.

Speaking of which, Disney has agreed to allow a latin remake of their "Desperate Houswives" for the Latin market...provided they air the original ABC episodes first.

Well, as you can see...the coffee has kept me from sticking to one coherent thought this morning...so allow me to travel to the next rift in my space-time continuum...

..."A Dirty Shame".

This is John Waters' latest film, and it's a fabulous take on the many facets of the Right-wing/Left-wing devide that is happing in our country today. The Right-wingers are cast as "Neuters": Those 'normal' people who think that sex is horrible and nasty. The Left-wingers declare, "Let's get sexin'!"

It's an ode to Janet Jackson's tit and every goofy sexual fetish ever invented.

To hear "Neuter Mardge" exclaim, "It's not safe out there! People are shaving their crotches as we speak. There's pubic hair in the air!"...well, you know you've got a film that is brilliant and somehow overlooked by the "Academy".

The film is now available on DVD and I proudly picked up my NC-17 copy yesterday as it went on sale.

Topic-travelling again...

...my poor, sweet Beny has just been offered the job as a Spa Manager with Mandara Spa here in Orlando (Portofino Bay at Universal and later this fall at the Walt Disney World Swan and Dolphin Resort).

I'm so happy for him...

...BUT...

...the INS has declined his work authorization which expires mid-July.

So, he has the job of his dreams lined up and can't take it until his lawyer straightens shit out with the INS.

Should I be jumping up and down celebrating, or crying here? What's a husband to do?

Why does life have to be so shitty to good people, like Beny?

2 Comments:

Anonymous Kelly L said...

...so glad that you offered up this site for me to enjoy. I have always enjoyed a piping hot cup of Chris Haynes. (that was gross, but you did blog about John Waters...so it sticks close to its subject. That was gross, too.) You can be sure that I will be keeping up on your life via this site. Love to you and hope for Beny...K

10:38 PM

 
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