Friday, February 11, 2005

Why email?

Long-distance friendships are a challenge.

Most of my friends that 'get out of Dodge' say that they will stay in touch, but rarely follow through on the promise. In fact, some of my closest friends from the past have disappeared into oblivion.

I often wonder if it's my lack of effort that causes the long-distance friendship to dissolve. I mean, there are guidelines that I require these friends to follow. One of these guidelines is that if they want to reach me, they should email me. I am not, however, reachable via telephone.

Sure, a friend might feel like they've won the lottery if I actually pick-up the telephone. (Due to my job of answering the telephone all day as a Secretary, I rarely answer my phone at home.)

I've recently re-established contact with one of my friends from many moons ago. This friend is actually an ex-boyfriend. After a ten-year hiatus we have connected again. I've yet to figure out how we 'connect' in this day and age.

I've changed in many ways, and I'm sure he has, as well.

However, I still have this deep feeling of admiration for him thanks to the many colorful pages he painted in my life.

The newly re-kindled friendship has run this cycle thus-far:
  1. "Oh my God! How are you!!!???"
  2. "So what do you do?"
  3. "Are you dating?"
  4. "Do you still talk with so-and-so..."
  5. "We need to plan a trip and hang out again...just like old times."

It's #5 that "freaks me" a bit. How do we know that we will click? We don't. But, wouldn't it be nice to pick up right where we left off? The hopeless sap in me wishes it were possible. The realist in me doubts that it will happen.

In fact, it looks like after about a month of contact, this re-established friendship is already tapering off. That truly saddens me...

...I still have hope.

I still wonder--Is it because I haven't called him? Not sure. Probably so. If the blame needs to land can land on my shoulders.

Then again...

...another one of my friends moved away and I've been able to stay in contact with him consistently. In fact, we talk almost daily via email. He shares with me all of his most sordid details and I love him for it. He also shares with the world via his blog:

He's an amazing friend and a very talented writer. I know that he will be a cherished friend for the long-haul.

Which leads me to wonder, what kind of friend will you be? And, with a question like that...will you want to be my friend at all?

I've lost a few, loved a few, gained a few, ruined a few, and ignored a few.

It's hard to be a good friend. I'm glad that I can say that I've got a few great friends (you know who you are...)

But, some friends make friendship 'challenging' by moving far away.

Why Portland?


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